I went away to get away from it all. "I can be sad and cry anywhere" I thought. So, I'll go away. I locked the door and went away. The day is almost here and it has kind of snuck up behind me. I've spent my days trying the distraction approach. But now, it's time to face the music so to speak. The sadness, the heartache will not be ignored. There's only so much avoidance and distraction I can create for myself before the sorrow comes crashing back, breaking through the cracks in my armor.
The day is almost here, what can I do? How do I prepare for it? I'm really not sure. Do I go to a midnight service? Can I pretend to be happy and sing those holiday songs? Probably not. What if I need to cry? Do I want to be in a room full of strangers or just here alone? I don't know if I'll have the strength to go there. Maybe its better if its just me by myself. What should I do, Oh what do I need? I don't know. The answer is not clear. I have all this anxiety piled on top of it all, I just don't know right now what I will need.
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