As I struggled with feeling like my life here really has no purpose now that my loved one has gone, I was brought to some words from God's holy book, Isaiah 61: 2-3:
"...to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion
to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor."
In the past day or 2, this has become God's message to me during the bleakness of this season in my life. The plague of death has wrought its destruction as far as my eyes can see. What it left behind is a barren field. There is activity, and things to do. But, the foundation that gives me meaning has been destroyed. I am reminded of the thinking that it is often easier to tear down a house and start all over than to change and remodel the one that is currently there. My "house" has been torn down and so I sit here needing the Contractor, to do create the rebuild.
And, I stand on the promise written long ago, that He will replace my ashes with a crown of beauty, take my mourning and replace it with the oil of joy. And wrap me in a blanket of praise while He takes my despair. And, that He will do this to "reseed" the barren field that I currently see all around me. All for the purpose of His glory.
I don't know what this will look like, or how long it will take. But, the promise is that one day, my field won't be barren, my house will be 'rebuilt' and my heart will mend. That somehow, my foundation of purpose will not always feel so empty. That one day, my life will feel like it has purpose again.
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