This "Thing" Called a Death Certificate

When someone dies, there is this "thing" called a death certificate. Everybody needs one. So, as if the death of my loved one is not hard enough, but everywhere I go, I have to take one of these with me. Its as if his death is not hard enough, but then I have been given the task of erasing every evidence of his existence, at least on paper and according to all of the "powers that be".

So, I go and face the fact that here is one more place that I remove him. Don't they know that it hurts that I have been given the task of step by step remove his presence from my life, even if it is only on paper. Don't they understand that he is of more value than this 'official' piece of paper called a death certificate? He is more than a name, a social security number, a date and a cause of death? And, its me who has to get the strength and courage to walk into your office to do this. It's me who is held to the task. To pretend its okay to have him taken away. Inside I struggle. Some days I can do it, others, I have to put it off for one more day. And, every day I work to get the energy becomes another day I am exhausted with the effort. 

Don't they care that he was a husband, a father, a son and a brother? Don't they get it that just because they can erase him from their databases, he was so much more than that to us? That it hurts those of us who loved him to have his whole presence wiped off the books? To them, he's a number, one of trillions. But to us, those who loved him. He is unique, he is ours, he is our one an only. So, today, this paper that removes him from all of the official places, cannot remove him from us, our minds, our hearts. He is forever loved.