Supporting Your Grieving Friend: Their Grief is Never Finished, Their Pain is Never Gone

It will never be finished. Your grieving friend will deal with that loss for the rest of their days. It will change, it may take up less space in their life for a few days here and there, but it will NEVER go away. Never.

What does that mean for your grieving friend? Their life will never be the same again. They will never be the same again. There may be lessons, there may be (at some point) good things ahead. But, their loss will always hurt. Your friend will deal with changes in their life that were not their choice. A precious gem has been taken. Maybe part of the foundation that they counted on being part of their existence.

A good analogy for you to consider is that of an amputee. Their limb may be healed. A prosthesis may allow them to do some of what they did before. But, their life and their loss is permanent. Never the same again. The situation that developed that required them to lose the limb will always be a traumatic incident in their life. Sure, they may be able to go on. They may be able to function. But, don't ever think that the loss of that limb is forgotten, it is not. At some point, the amputee deals daily with the changes in their life. Even many years later. There may be acceptance but life is never the same again. The same is true when a loved one dies.
Please don't expect your friend to "get over it" or worse "put her big girl panties on and move on with her life". Do you really think that the life of the loved one has so little value that it 'should' be easier for your friend to pick up and go? Do you think that your opinion expresses the value of a life that is no more? If so, think again. Love knows no limits and snuffing it out is always a tragedy. Shame on you for not valuing your friends loved one's life. Really. Consider the quality of your love for your friend. Are you really helping your friend or adding to their burden? 
Remember that your grieving friend will need you to understand that their loss is huge. Even several years later, their loss continues to hurt. The changes that your friend experienced make it hard to go on. At some point, there may be acceptance, but life will never be the same.