The holidays are upon me once again. Preparing for the uncomfortable and disheartening is the rule of the day. Knowing that I am still broken although it is better than last year.
I was invited to an early Thanksgiving with a friend. It was a "celebration". People giving thanks. A large room friends and acquaintances, spouses and singles laughing and enjoying each other. I was reminded that I am not. I am still not really celebrating, not really able to give thanks and not enjoying events with my spouse. I came home and cried. My sorrow continues. I am not sure how to get past the sorrow to celebrate and give thanks.
It reminded me that the upcoming month is likely to be painful. The people around me are caring and wanting me with them, happy as well. As of right now,I am working back to that place of happy and content. However, it is allusive, a location within that is still beyond reach.
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