I guess you could call it a sign moving beyond my grief. It could also be me beginning to take care of my needs outside of grief. Starting to think about work. A set structure seems like a good choice, almost more important than the paycheck.
A big question for me is how much work? Where is the balance between processing grief and moving on? Will the work give me another focus? There are no specific answers as the process is unique one person to the next.
There is also the logistical questions involved. I did not even own an electronic copy of my resume. The process of looking for employment has changed drastically. Craigslist, Career Builder, online applications, online cover letters. Email responses to those electronic contacts. Sending out the file and then getting no response. Wondering if it went anywhere?
What industry do I choose? The most recent one we did together. Is it a good choice? Can I do that again? Do I want to do that again? Will each day just remind me of my loss? It is time to move away from the sorrow, away from the memory.
I have other strengths and those create an interest in me, a new direction, turning over a new leaf. Work that does not keep him at the forefront giving my grief a rest. Using my gifts for another purpose. Yes, these positions are interesting, not sad. These are worth pursuing. We shall see what God has in mind.
My favorite application question is this: "May we call your current employer?" Sure, I've been my own supervisor for 2 decades. You want to speak to my supervisor? Sure.
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