I stand in the parking lot and I hear sirens all around. Not just one or 2 but many scream on. Every couple of minutes another ambulance speeds past the lot. People getting out of their cars all turn around and watch the parade of ambulances. The spectacle to watch. I choose to ignore to keep walking to the store. Tears come of their own volition, memories raw.
I have been reminded of those many trips to the hospital right at the end of his life. The seizures, the fright, the anxiety involved. Do I call them, do I not, is it time for the professionals to help me decide what to do to care for him with this new or more difficult problem? They take him to the ambulance and as I leave too, the people gawking and watching "the show". It seems to unhelpful, so rude and unkind. There is nothing to do but go on with the important ignoring the rest.
Off to the hospital we go, there is urgency needed. I am also reminded of the time that I followed the ambulance and suddenly it stopped at the side of the road. I had to continue on, my heart in my throat. I say to myself "Oh no, that is not good".
Memories come back in a flash just because of sirens. Feeling come back I had never processed about the uncaring behavior of neighbors. I keep on walking with my head bowed down low. I choose not to be one of the rude ones gawking by the side. Yet, those memories still hurt and make me stumble in my path. The sorrow and the hard heartedness of strangers in life.
Apparently they have never suffered with the behavior and the like. Or they would be like another neighbor who was in a similar plight. She left a tea rose on our porch in the night. With a note for good wishes and prayer. Not really knowing us but taking the time to care.
Oh how I wish I can be like that one, to shed some kindness instead of gawking from afar. To touch a loved one, knowing what it's like. To spread love and kindness in the midst of this life.
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