Building a New Foundation: New Purpose

I read a blog from someone I respect in regards to finding one's purpose after the death of a spouse. He acknowledged that the life and dreams one had are no longer as the other person involved was no longer here to "do life" with anymore. The dreams and visions for our life together no longer exist. For me, the expanse before me was an expanse of destruction as far as I could see. Initially, I wandered aimlessly around in the midst of the destruction. Life was no longer the same.

The rebuilding of a life starts with clearing the debris. This by itself is not accomplished quickly. Sometimes, the physical items are removed quickly, however, the emotional debris takes much longer. Once the debris is cleared, building a foundation is the next step. This foundation is, in part, the decision to find a way to go on. (The alternative is to stop living and wait for life to end). It requires building a new life, new dreams. It involves finding a reason to get out of bed in the morning. This also  does not happen overnight, it is a process. It may even take months or years. The vision of a new life may only be a shadow seen in the distance right now. However it comes, it is crucial for this one nugget of life become planted in one's heart. Without it, there is only a backward looking vision for one's life.

For me, letting go of the life we had created much pain and some guilt. The only thing I held onto during that time was that apparently, God still had some purpose or I would not be here. Although I didn't know what it was, or how life could ever be satisfying again, I clung to my faith and worked to move forward. I have learned some 18 months later that in many ways, I still do not have a clear vision of my purpose. I am involved in many important activities, but none feel like my "calling" or 'purpose". I still cling to the knowledge that He will reveal it to me in His time. I guess my message today is also that it is okay to create a new life, new dreams and a new existence. Building a foundation is an important step in the process of going on.