Purpose. What is your purpose? I continue to think about this subject as it has struck a chord for me. I have an empty space that is where my God-given purpose is suppose to reside. I have struggled with not feeling like there was purpose since becoming a widow.
Hear me, I was not suicidal, there just didn't seem to be anything that satisfied that need. Nothing that fully filled that empty space. You know, the one that used to include the day to day life, dreams and visions we shared for our life together.
I find that I am doing many activities which have great value in my life. The support of friends and family has been a tremendous gift. However, when I attempt to put these activities into that space, the space is not filled. It still feels dry or somehow "not right". Attempting to fill that void with activities that are not really my purpose causes anxiety (of trying to find my purpose), or disappointment (when the activity does not create peace and fullness) and ongoing emptiness.
I believe that a better choice is to leave the void as is. Accept the important activities as important, but not "the purpose I am called to". To rest in the understanding that God will bring that purpose to me (and you) when the time is right. To understand that important activities and "purpose" are 2 different things, separate and fulfill different purposes in our life. It is God's action, not mine that is vital here. Other than following, of course.
Several bible verses came to mind as I worked through these thoughts:
1. Be Still and Know that I am God. (Psalm 46:10)
2. He is abundantly able to do more than you ask or hope. (Ephesians 3:20)
3. I have come that you might have life and have it more abundantly. (John 10:10)
4. Wait upon the Lord and renew your strength. (Isiah 40: 31)
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