Emotional responses are strong. Stronger than they used to be. When I am frustrated, I get frustrated quickly. When I get anxious, I get very anxious. I have always been a bit of a worrier, this too has been exacerbated. I wonder why this is?
I have contemplated this and think about the emotional explosion involved in becoming a widow. The life I chose is no longer. The familiar life I lived has now changed enormously. I have become very aware of many emotions running throughout my days. Sometimes, it is like a roller coaster. Tears have been many.
Now, as I patch my life back together, those emotions continue to run near to the surface. It is almost as if the protective layer I used in the past has become thinner. Maybe being more transparent is a better description. It seems that I am more aware than I used to be.
How about you? Have you had these same experiences? Are your emotions near the surface? Or are they deeper down. Hidden to keep the pain away?
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